


Disconnection

by spirituallara



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Cutting, M/M, just getting sad hcs out of my system tbh, kinda depression but idk, your typical sad oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:11:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6824332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spirituallara/pseuds/spirituallara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tweek feels like his bond to Craig is an important one, a strong one. The important things always seem to fall apart quickly. Tweek watches.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disconnection

  
Tweek read through Clyde's message again, wondering how he should respond. He  
wasn't jittery, probably because their conversation was about Craig, maybe.  
Even though Tweek wasn't ever sure about anything he was sure of his feelings for Craig. He had come to understand them really well.

* * *

_He was walking next to Craig, trailing behind Token and Clyde. There was some kind of conversation going on between them._  
_Craig was smoking -- it was a habit he had picked up recently, Tweek didn't like it much. But even so, walking next to Craig, he wasn't twitching. It was weird._   
_They were on their way to school, having spent the night at Token's place working on a project for school and sure enough - Token had done most of the work._

_"You're way too lucky, dude." Craig suddenly said next to him._  
Tweek was perplexed and turned to the black-haired boy, but then realized that he was talking to Clyde.   
_"Naaah, not really." Clyde answered, a wide grin on his face._   
_"She was pretty hot. Should've given her a chance, you know."_   
_Token glanced back at Craig, then at Tweek. Tweek twitched._   
_"You think so? Well, I still got my eyes set on Bebe though! And besides..."_

_Clyde turned around, walking backwards "...you shouldn't say stuff like that with your_ boyfriend _right next to you." Craig cracked a smile and Tweek sighed, trying to make it seem annoyed._  
 _"Oh man, not that again." Tweek twitched._  
 _"Still can't believe we honestly kept that act up for what - two years?"_  
 _Craig and Clyde laughed. It was rare to see Craig laugh. Tweek twitched._  
 _"Still longer than any of your relationships, Clyde." Token suddenly said, clearly unhappy with where the conversation was going._  
 _  
"Hey!" Clyde pouted._

* * *

 

_Tweek and Craig weren't that close. Sure, their fake relationship had brought them closer, but after Craig decided to end it again, things just... went back to the way they were before. Not all of it, of course, 2 years had passed and they all had changed, but apart from that they just interacted normally again._  
 _  
Craig did, at least. Tweek only pretended._  
 _During their relationship, Tweek felt something change within him.  
He wasn't as anxious anymore and his trembling and twitching started to calm down, he became more reasonable and less paranoid.   
He suddenly spent a lot of his time with Craig. Video games, drinking coffee together, watching movies - stuff he'd do with Clyde and Token too, it just didn't have the same impact, it felt different. Tweek and Craig didn't share any secrets, just their opinions on this and that. Their friendship continued like that even after their "break-up". Surprisingly, Craig seemed to do most of the talking, Tweek listened._  
 _  
That was until they were 15 and a school dance was about to be held._  
 _  
Tweek wasn't particulary interested in dancing - he couldn't dance - but seeing how everyone got themselves a date for the evening, Tweek's thoughts started to wander._  
 _"Hey, um, Craig." Craig had his lower lip caught between his teeth, concentrating on the small TV in Tweek's room; they were playing a video game._  
 _"Yeah?" he asked, his voice had gotten deeper, it wasn't breaking anymore._  
 _"Do you have like... a date for... uh, for the dance?"_  
 _Craig's brows shot together, furrowing for only a moment._  
 _"No, why you askin'?" His voice still sounded a bit nasal._  
 _"I - I wondered if, well...uh, you... wanna go together?"_  
 _  
Craig didn't respond for at least two minutes. Tweek was trembling, wondering if Craig had even listened._  
 _  
"As friends?" Craig then asked, still not looking at Tweek, his fingers still pressing the buttons on the controller in his hands._  
 _Tweek's voice failed him a few times before he was able to form his next sentence. His palms were sweaty._  
 _"No no, I, um, I meant more like... as a date, you know."_  
 _The clicking of the buttons stopped._  
 _Craig seemed to sigh. Was he annoyed?_  
 _"Sorry, dude. I'm not going to the dance."_  
 _Craig left soon after that._  
 _  
They met a few times again the following weeks, but it felt different._  
 _Tweek tried to speak with Craig._  
 _Craig didn't answer._  
 __  
The feeling inside of Tweek's chest was love.

* * *

  
_"Oh, you're always like that!" Tweek's mom was furious._  
 _His dad tried to defend himself._  
 _"And you're not?! Don't try too hard being so damn righteous, the buisness is all we got! You should be happy your husband is taking his job serious!"_  
 _  
Tweek picked at the food with his fork. He didn't have any appetite._  
 _  
Since his dad had spread his buisness out to a second shop, it was nothing but fighting between his parents - his mom had been against it._  
 _She soon smashed her fork and knife down on her plate, sauce splashing over the table, then she left. Tweek's dad followed suit, cursing under his breath._  
 _It had been the first time in two tweeks the family ate together again, but Tweek hadn't expected anything good from it._  
 _Looking at the calendar, he was reminded that his birthday was coming up next week._  
 __  
His fingertips found his cheek and he wiped the sprinkles of spagetthi sauce off his face.

* * *

_"...Um, sorry, maybe I just messed up telling him the right time... ?"_   
_Tweek, Token and Clyde were sitting in a pizza restaurant, celebrating the blonde's birthday._  
  
_When he had walked down into the kitchen this morning, his mom had been sitting at the table, crying._   
_He had asked her what was wrong and she just pointed at the calendar, sobbing._   
_"I'm so sorry, Tweek! I'm such a bad mom!"_   
_It didn't feel right, seeing her cry like that. Moms weren't supposed to cry like that. Moms weren't supposed to cry in front of their children, to forget their children's birthdays, to make them feel bad like this._   
_Tweek felt beyond bad, he felt downright horrible and he felt so..._

_so..._

guilty _.  
_  
 _Tweek took another look at the clock on the wall. 9 PM.  
_  
 _"We told him." Token said, his voice firm. He looked uncomfortable and angry._  
 _"Um, I'm sure he'll be here any minute! Don't worry, Tweekers!" Tweek wasn't sure if Clyde tried to comfort him, calm Token or make himself feel better._  
 _"I'm going to call him."_  
 _The brunette seemed alarmed "No, no, no, Token! It's okay!" He tried to pry the phone out of his friend's hands, but Token wouldn't let him._  
 _"Alright, where is Craig? You know about this, don't you, Clyde?"_  
 _  
Tweek didn't say anything. He scratched at his arm, looking at Token. He never saw his friend like that before, so angry, so disappointed, so strict._  
 _"He's...! Um..." Clyde sighed._  
 _"He's out on a date, I think."_  
 __  
Silence.

* * *

_Tweek felt like he was losing the connection to his life, his family, his friends, to this town. His connection to Craig._  
 _  
Craig had always soothed him when he had a panik attack, he'd always known the right way to calm the blonde's nerves._  
 _Tweek didn't tremble or stutter or twitch when he was with Craig -- the only one in town who didn't seem to pity him, to think he was a freak; someone who wasn't loud and hyper, someone who didn't make him feel paranoid._  
 _  
After the school dance, Craig and Tweek didn't meet up without Clyde, Jimmy or Token anymore. Tweek started trembling, stuttering, twitching again._  
 _  
Before becoming close with Craig, Tweek wasn't too aware of his constant jittery self. Of his strong anxiety. The damn twitching._  
 _But after their bond had weakened, Tweek fell back into what -- old habits? He couldn't control his trembling and twitching and god, he hated it. It made him feel ashamed._  
 _But the blonde had found a way. That one cruel way to win control over himself._  
 _  
Tweek sat on the floor, back leaned against the bathtub. The razor blade cut through his pale skin._  
 _When he had started doing this, he was scared of cutting through his artery._  
 _He thought back to today's way to school with the others, Clyde making a remark about things "being strange" between him and Craig. Craig remarking that most things about Tweek were strange._  
 __  
Tweek didn't care about cutting through his artery anymore.

* * *

"man still can't believe they hooked up" He read through Clyde's message once again. How was he supposed to answer? Picking at his skin, Tweek just wrote "same tbh".  
  
Craig and Anna, Anna Falkner, had been dating for about a week now. Craig was acting just like he always did but he wasn't smoking anymore. He was smiling more now. He was laughing more now. His eyes were shining more now.  
  
Tweek wished he could have been the one to make Craig like this, to make Craig feel like this, to make Craig so _happy_.  
  
Token had come to Tweek, trying to talk about the blonde's feelings. Tweek had seen that one coming, Token always seemed to protect him lately. He brushed his friend off, he didn't want to talk about his feelings.  
  
He was always eating alone now, breakfast and dinner, alone in the kitchen, the clock ticking away. His parents weren't talking to each other anymore and they weren't really talking to Tweek either.  
  
Clyde didn't try to cheer Tweek up as often anymore.  
  
The cuts under Tweek's sleeve increased.  
  
Craig was smiling a lot.  
And he was so _beautiful_. Too beautiful for Tweek, who was twitching and trembling more than ever. He couldn't bring himself to talk anymore, he was too ashamed of his cracking, stuttering voice.  
There wasn't any way out for him, Tweek Tweak, the strange kid with the weird name.   
  
Walking to Token's place for a school project, the rain pouring down on him, he was suddenly shielded.  
Craig was standing in front of him. He wasn't smiling.  
"We're late." he simply said and Tweek stared at him, not answering.   
His twitching had stopped.  
He looked up at the red umbrella in Craig's hands, Anna's umbrella.  
"Tweek?"   
Eyes darting back to Craig's face, the blonde found his black-haired friend staring at him with worry written all over his face. Tweek felt something like a stab in his chest.  
He could tell him. He can tell him. He can ask for help.   
  
_Ask for help!_  
  
...why wasn't Craig there for him earlier? Why now? Why did he leave him behind like this?  
  
Resignation filled Tweek's body.  
  
"It's nothing." he whispered, voice thick with tears.  
"I forgot something at home."  
  
Tweek turned around and walked down the street.  
Looking over his shoulder one last time, Craig wasn't following him.  
He stood there for a few seconds, then he continued down the street leading to Token's house.  
Leaving his friend behind.

Tweek twitched.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hello Hello!
> 
> A few things about this, uh... masterpiece. Sorry for my weird English and the weird format, I literally wrote this off the bat like 5 minutes before posting it and English isn't my native language!
> 
> For the content of this fic, well, there's not much to say. I have the hc that Tweek may start cutting later on and so I wrote this One Shot with my hc and a "I want a sad Creek fanfic!" in mind.
> 
> Language is something amazing, by the way. I was going to write "looking over his shoulder, Craig wasn't following him" but now after adding "one last time" the sentence holds a way more complex meaning - a possibly really sad one, if you wanna interpret it that way.
> 
> Sorry this is nothing special and also I'm sure this is not how Tweek's "jittery self" (why did I call it that) works, but oh well for the sake of this fic it's okay I guess.
> 
> This is the sad Creek OS nobody asked for. :3  
> Thanks for reading! ♥


End file.
